10 THINGS I STOP GIVING A SH*T ABOUT WHEN I TRAVEL SOLO
Photo: David Sorich
1. Vanity
When your itinerary includes a trek across desolate landscapes of Iceland or a day navigating through Bangkok's busy outdoor markets in 95+ degree weather, doing your hair and makeup just doesn't make practical sense. Besides, who do you have to impress? I've found that presenting a more raw version of myself to strangers works synonymously with the rawness of the experience itself. This goes for clothing, too. With just a carry-on, I pack a few inexpensive basics and the choice between flip flops or hiking boots—nothing too important to lose, but still prepared for anything. Not only do I feel like I blend in more this way, at least as a traveler than as a tourist, but I relish in the break from the shallowness of daily life back home. I'm consumed with more important things like negotiating fares with tuk tuk drivers, making sure I have enough water and general sense of where I'm going, etc. Suddenly, the way you look just isn't high on your list of priorities.
2. Calories
This goes in either direction. It wasn't until I spent a week experiencing Cambodia for the first time that I realized my body doesn't actually need as much as I've been conditioned to believe. I wasn't purposely skipping meals—hot days came and went so quickly, it didn't occur to me to seek out a place to sit down three times a day to eat. For the most part, once was enough. Food became a necessity rather than a distraction as I began “feeding” myself more with the excitement of experiencing new things. And because the predictability and reliability of food was low from day to day, I had no guilt in indulging when opportunities presented themselves.
3. Living by the clock
Or by any agenda, for that matter. Call me a control freak, but usually, I live by lists, plotting out how the next year will play out, month to month, day to day, and, sometimes, hour to hour. On the road, I work in the opposite direction, reflecting on my day after it's already passed. There's no disappointment if I don't get something crossed off of my 'to-do' list, because I don't have one. There's more room for spontaneity. I'm free from the idea of having to meet some ideal of productivity, if just for a little while.
4. Pleasing other people
Speaking of schedules, traveling solo means creating my own itinerary and changing it whenever I please. In a group, it's much harder to appease each person's needs. Heading out by yourself means you're free of the judgement of someone else, free from acting in the way people are used to seeing you, and free to be selfish and make your own decisions/mistakes, which ultimately makes you more confident in the long run. You also tend to me approachable and open to meeting others, yet free to keep those interactions as long or brief as you like.
5. Fear
Yes, it's scary to go somewhere completely foreign to you. Yes, it's scarier to do it alone. But guess what, you get off that plane and realize you're still on planet Earth, surrounded by humans just going about their day as you would back home. Nothing is so different that you have anything to fear. Do your research, respect differences in culture, learn a few words in a different language and embrace a little change. Crime happens literally everywhere, and the media knows that focusing on the “scary” sells, but don't be so easily sold on the notion that that's all there is. The regret of not going is much scarier. In the words of Malcolm Gladwell, “Just leave. Go away.. You can't stay in a cocoon your whole life. It will limit you in ways you can't even begin to understand.”
6. Asking for Help
Stubbornly independent, to my own demise at times, I hate asking for help from others and will often go out of my way to avoid people altogether, limiting eye contact so as not to invite small talk. I hate small talk.
I remember my first time at Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris, hopelessly lost trying to figure out where my reserved shuttle pickup location was. I thought I would be able to get to my hotel without having to attempt speaking French to anyone. Wrong! Snubbed 3 times by the Information Desk, I finally found myself outside speaking to a local, who not only got me on my shuttle, but indulged me in 15 minutes of invaluable small talk as we both waited for our rides. For the remainder of my stay in the city I was once so intimidated by, I asked questions every chance I got. I practiced my french, despite my embarrassment, and enjoyed it all the more. I smiled at strangers and made eye contact. I met wonderful people. I got so much further than I would have otherwise.
7. Talking to Strangers
Hand in hand with the point above, traveling in groups can be limiting to your social experiences abroad. You'll have less of an excuse to interact with new people and probably even ask for help less often than you need to. Going at it solo pretty much forces you outside of that comfort zone and can pay off so much more in the types of experiences you're able to have.
8. Little conveniences
In routine life, it's easy to grow dependent on little things like your morning cup of coffee, air conditioning, reliable internet, etc. But being uncomfortable, or away from everything you're used to having all the time, makes you appreciate the fact that you've had it so well all along. You'll gain a better understanding of necessity versus excess, and be better off for it.
9. Whether or not my boyfriend will wait for me
The worst excuse to forgo travel. Although, I am human and admit to feeling worried that prolonged time away would kill a relationship, it's never stopped me. I say that having lost relationships over it. But, if someone is so insecure that they feel a need to limit me in my own life, I know I'm better off without them. Just go. Trust me, your future self will thank you.
10. Where I am in life
Sometimes when we're stuck in our little bubble for so long, we lose perspective of ourselves. How many times have you heard the cliché “quits high-paying corporate job to travel the world” story? That's because so many of us are not chasing after true happiness, but some shallow version of it. Go out into the world and meet other people your age, see how they're living, let go of preconceived notions of success, get inspired and really hone in on those feelings. Take the time to find contentment on your own terms.
